DanganKira
by pkpulakkmr
Summary: Kira is law. And his enemies are now prisoners of despair. It is time for The Killing Game.


"Excuse me, can I have your attention please?" the voice said. Hmm, interesting. "Could you all please assemble at the foyer? I have an announcement to make."

"W-what's going on?" said the Ultimate Sharpshooter Matsuda. His paranoia was patently unsurprising, considering we'd all just been locked inside this building with no conceivable way out.

"This isn't good." said Ultimate Mob Enforcer Graham Mathers.

"Regardless, I believe it to be a waste of time just standing around." I said. "Let's go."

As the lot of us assembled in the foyer, a teddy bear sprang up to greet us. Oh joy.

"I AM MONOKUMA, YOUR NEW HEADMASTER!" said the bear. "And I look forward to having the lot of you stay under my tutelage FOREVER!"

"HA! You're just a teddy bear!" said Light Yagami, the Ultimate Programmer and Ultimate Detective. He was an exceptional chap, having gotten two Ultimate titles at once. If it weren't for me, he'd already be the Ultimate Justice. But he has seethed with resentment over not becoming that, and I believed there was a 1% chance that he was in fact behind all this.

"I am your HEADMASTER!" said Monokuma "And I look forward to having you all around for eternity!"

"But why?!" said Matsuda.

"Because the world does not need you folk anymore! You'd only disrupt the order of things!"

"That is absurd!" Light said. "I have to go out into the world and make a difference! You can't just trap me and all of us like this!"

"You do not understand! The entire purpose of the Hope's Peak Institution has been defeated. You are all staying in here until you die, unless of course you turn out to be too disruptive. Say, by becoming _murderers!"_

"NOOOO!" Light screamed a little too melodramatically.

Ah, so it seems there is also a 5% chance that Kira has indeed taken over the world, and since we'd only be getting in his way, we'll all be trapped in here for good. Monokuma _says_ we can kill people to escape, but I know that that's just an excuse to whittle down our numbers faster.

But I won't bow down to you, Kira. I will defeat you.

At least, that's what I thought in the beginning.

My first doubts arose when Light himself was offed by Monokuma by getting impaled on twenty spikes for breaking a tiny rule. He had screamed "GOD! WHYYY?!" in a genuinely anguished tone as he passed away. Then my other suspects, Takeda and Misa were executed after being found guilty of murder in our group trials. Eventually, there were only five of us remaining, when another, completely out-of-the-blue murder happened. The murder of the sixteenth prisoner, the Ultimate Prosecutor Teru Mikami.

Everything about the murder and the subsequent trial stank. Mikami had never been seen around the institute before, and his body was found with a mask on. He'd even exploded as we approached him, making the circumstances of the murder even murkier. Also, Monokuma seemed to be actively sabotaging our efforts to investigate this. Thus it was made abundantly clear to me, with a 7% certainty no less, that Kira had killed Mikami. Unfortunately, I had broken Monokuma's rules by using a forged keykard to investigate the crime scene after my own keycard had conveniently disappeared. Monokuma would doubtlessly punish me for this if the truth ever got out.

Thankfully, in the true and good ending of this story, my shenanigans were not exposed, and Ultimate Gangster Mello deliberately took the fall for the murder. Monokuma, in a clear violation of his own rules, executed Mello without allowing a vote, before boasting that Mello wasn't the real killer after all. He even allowed a fresh trial to happen to "discover the truth".

Hahaha, you're losing you edge Kira. Time to take you down.

And then, the final trial began.

"Remember, since you are accusing ME in the trial, if you can't convict me, you will all DIE! But that won't be the end. It will be the beginning. Of a new world. Of Kir-moving on!" Monokuma said.

Time to make my argument.

"HA! CONSPIRACY! CONSPIRACY!"

"What conspiracy?"

"You're all working against me! Illuminati confirmed!"

"Are you sure it isn't Half-Life 3 confirmed?"

"NO! It is a true conspiracy! You're all working against me, and I have evidence to prove it!"

"Okay, out with the evidence."

"It's a group photo. I don't remember it being taken but that's because I wasn't in it. _The only group photo, and I'm not in it."_

 **"NO, THAT'S WRONG!"**

"Huh?"

"You said that it's the only group photo, didn't you?"

"Yeah, and I'm not in it!"

"Actually, I think everyone was served with such group photos to make it seem as though we were being played. Isn't that right, everyone?"

"Yeah." "Yeah, you're right." "Fuck you Monokuma."

"Oh, well, so I was manipulating you. Is that really so much of a surprise?"

"No, Monokuma. What is surprising is that why you were manipulating us. You usually try to manipulate us into committing murder. But now you're trying to COVER UP THE MURDER!"

"What's your proof?!"

"The face covered up in these photos. The only face we cannot see, is YAGAMI LIGHT'S!"

"So?"

"And the DVDs I was viewing at the scene of the crime. The moment Light's face was about to show, you caused a power failure."

"No, that was an accident!"

"And what about that notebook we found, which had everyone's names written except for Light Yagami's. Are you aware that I replaced the notebook with a fake one, which is why we didn't die?!"

"WHAT? You were supposed to have lost those memories! H-how...?!"

"We lied. Light Yagami, THE KIRA IS YOU!"

"It's game over, Monokuma."

"You thought you were playing us for two years, but in fact we were playing you."

"Ohai, we're all the executed people. We didn't actually die, because we were playing you as well."

"Heheheheheh, HAHAHAHAHAHA! That's right, I am Kira. And what will you do, kill me here?"

"Yes." Matsuda said, and pressed the punishment button. "IT'S PUNISHMENT TIME, LIGHT!"

"NO, WAIT! I DON'T WANT TO DIE, NOT LIKE THIS!"

But Light's screams were too little, too late. He was subjected to every single one of Monokuma's executions while begging for mercy. A pathetic end for a pathetic man.

And obviously, since we were playing Light the whole time, we left his prison with ease.

THE END.


End file.
